Poems by Agnew Wendy Jane
Angels don't have fun (#14a)
... Angels don't have funcause they're always prayingand crows have lots of funbut they get shot atthey get to eat road killand fly southfor the winterone angelcollected crow feathersand made herselfa secret wingall blackand she'd fly downand play with the crowstill Godcaught her by the toeheld her upside downand hung her off a treethe crows sawshe had no bitsyand pecked out her eyes ...
Brenda Carbosier has hairy nostrils (#12)
... Brenda Carbosier has hairy nostrilsso the nose fairiescould cluster in thereand keep warmwaiting for her to eather pumpkin pieShe has the best foodAnd then at nightthey'd lower themselves downlike Rapunzeland eat the crumbs off her lips.Tonightlet's put some gravy in your nosefor the nose fairiesThen they'll make surethe operationgoes OK ...
God's not always mean (#14c)
... God's not always meanHe saves the sparrowsbut crows are too big and noisyGod only likes lambs and kittens and donkeys--anything weak or stupid--cause He's not too bright Hisselfotherwise why would He hang outwith a bunch of angelsin a land wherethere's nothing but air ...
Jill#2
... Jack and Jillwent up the hillJack was the devilThey both cametumbling down butGod caught Jill andput her up inta heavenIt's cleaner up thereBut she still pines forthe good old days ...
Melanie says flowers (#5)
... Melanie says flowerswere the first onesto think of doing itThe amoebasjust split themselvesFlowers got uppityThey wanted to be prettyThey wanted to smell goodThey sent messages to each otherlike love lettersonly made of duston the legs of bees ...
Mothers got breasts (#36)
... Mothers got breastsya know why?'cause a human babytries to push it's way out the chest firstand it keeps rammin' its headfrom the inside(till dents form)finally it tiresand swims down to the vajinaby thenthe horns are all thunked offI wish I was a rhinothey go out the right holefirst time ...
Ok Lillian Pillian Rillian
... Mothers and fathers havea pact with the devilWhen they decide not to become nunsbut to get married and have sexbecause that's where we get babiesThe devil makes the man swallow a frogon their wedding nightthat's why your father burps sometimesand the woman has to swallow a spiderThen the frog and the spider crawl outand look at them when they're sleepingand see what they look likethen the frog spits on some dustand the spider weaves the dust and spitinto a baby that sorta lookslike your mom and dadthen the spider drags it back insidethe mommie's tummyThat's how you got bornPretty neat eh?Now the baby grows inside therecause your mom catches fliesand eats them at nightwhen nobody can see herOK that's why mothers always swat fliesin the day timeto build up a supplyso the spider keeps weaving the babyand when the baby comes outthere's this cord on it from the weband when they cut the cordthe poor spider diesWhen I have a babyI'm going to keep eating lots of fliesafter the baby's bornso my spider canstill live ...
White lines (#312)
... White lineson the highwayskidmarksof angels ...
