quotes from classic

It doesn't pay to say too much when you are mad enough to choke. For the word that stings the deepest is the word that is never spoke, Let the other fellow wrangle till the storm has blown away, then he'll do a heap of thinking about the things you didn't say.

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Continuous, unflagging effort, persistence and determination will win. Let not the man be discouraged who has these.

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It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

more quotes from Spike Milligan

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

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My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

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I'm a hero with coward's legs.

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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

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And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

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Hi vibrato sounded like he was driving a tractor over a ploughed field with weights tied to his scrotum.

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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

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Money couldn't buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

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