Funny poems
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Dance To It
© Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Well I'm not askin' you to do things my way I'm not tellin' you to do what I say
I'm not tellin' you to grab a lotta things that you're missin' it would be nice to listen
But you go and you dance to it xour box slot slop around and prance right through it
When the end comes you'll say nobody gave you a chance
But all you wanna do is dance dance dance dance dance dance yeah
Poirier's Rooster
© William Henry Drummond
"W'at's dat? de ole man gone, you say?
Wall! Wall! he mus' be sick,
Miss Edith Makes Another Friend
© Francis Bret Harte
Oh, you're the girl lives on the corner? Come in--if you want to--
come quick!
Chrismus On The Plantation
© Paul Laurence Dunbar
It was Chrismus Eve, I mind hit fu' a mighty gloomy day--
Bofe de weathah an' de people--not a one of us was gay;
Cose you 'll t'ink dat 's mighty funny 'twell I try to mek hit cleah,
Fu' a da'ky 's allus happy when de holidays is neah.
The Little Old Man
© Edgar Albert Guest
The little old man with the curve in his back
And the eyes that are dim and the skin that is slack,
So slack that it wrinkles and rolls on his cheeks,
With a thin little voice that goes "crack!" when he speaks,
Never goes to the store but that right at his feet
Are all of the youngsters who live on the street.
The Glendy Burk
© Stephen C. Foster
Ho! for Lou'siana!
I'm bound to leave dis town;
I'll take my duds and tote 'em on my back
When de Glendy Burk comes down.
To A Child Shut In A Bedroom
© Aline Murray Kilmer
DEAR, O desolate bright head!
O drooping mouth and shaken chin!
The Song of the Strange Ascetic
© Gilbert Keith Chesterton
If I had been a Heathen,
I'd have praised the purple vine,
350. Epistle to John Maxwell, Esq., of Terraughty
© Robert Burns
Fareweel, auld birkie! Lord be near ye,
And then the deil, he daurna steer ye:
Your friends aye love, your faes aye fear ye;
For me, shame fa me,
If neist my heart I dinna wear ye,
While Burns they ca me.
It's A Queer Time
© Robert Graves
It's hard to know if you're alive or dead
When steel and fire go roaring through your head.
42. A Poets Welcome to his Love-Begotten Daughter
© Robert Burns
For if thou be what I wad hae thee,
And tak the counsel I shall gie thee,
Ill never rue my trouble wi thee,
The cost nor shame ot,
But be a loving father to thee,
And brag the name ot.
112. A Dream
© Robert Burns
Note 1. The American colonies had recently been lost. [back]
Note 2. King Henry V.R. B. [back]
Note 3. Sir John Falstaff, vid. Shakespeare.R. B. [back]
Note 4. Alluding to the newspaper account of a certain Royal sailors amour.R. B. This was Prince William Henry, third son of George III, afterward King William IV. [back]
The Funny Kittens
© Carolyn Wells
Once there were some silly kittens,
And they knitted woolly mittens
To bestow upon the freezing Hottentots.
But the Hottentots refused them,
Saying that they never used them
Unless crocheted of red with yellow spots.
Metropolitan Nightmare
© Stephen Vincent Benet
Until, one day, a somnolent city-editor
Gave a new cub the termite yarn to break his teeth on.
The cub was just down from Vermont, so he took the time.
He was serious about it. He went around.
He read all about termites in the Public Library
And it made him sore when they fired him.
adventure
© Rg Gregory
just as the dusk comes hooting
down through the shivering black leaves
of the swinging trees we (the brave ones
swaggering like marshalls through a lynch-mob)
crash-bang our way to the door
of the so-called haunted house
A Make-Believe
© George MacDonald
No more! no more! I must stop this play,
Be a boy again, and kneel down and pray
To the God of sparrows and rabbits and men,
Who never lets any one out of his ken-
It must be so, though it be bewild'ring-
To save his dear beasts from his cruel children!
The Lover in Hell
© Stephen Vincent Benet
Eternally the choking steam goes up
From the black pools of seething oil. . . .
How merry
Those little devils are! They've stolen the pitchfork
