Funny poems
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Love, You Must Be Blind
© George Ade
Tell me if you can, the rule by which a man
Selects his worse or better half.
Truly it would seem to be a lott'ry scheme,
The prizes often make one laugh.
The Merchant Of Venice: A Legend Of Italy
© Richard Harris Barham
With a pack,
Like a sack
Of old clothes at his back,
And three hats on his head, Shylock came in a crack,
Saying, 'Rest you fair, Signior Antonio!- vat, pray,
Might your vorship be pleashed for to vant in ma vay!'
Snubbing (Tying-up) The Raft
© William Henry Drummond
Las' night dey 're passin', de golden plover,
Dis mornin' Im seein' de bluebird's wing,
So if not'ing go wrong, de winters over,
An' not very long till we got de spring.
The Loving Shepherdess
© Robinson Jeffers
She dreamed that a two-legged whiff of flame
Rose up from the house gable-peak crying, "Oh! Oh!"
And doubled in the middle and fled away on the wind
Like music above the bee-hives.
Bateese And His Little Decoys
© William Henry Drummond
O I'm very very tire Marie,
I wonder if I'm able hol' a gun
An' me dat 's alway risin' wit' de sun
An' travel on de water, an' paddle ma canoe
Leaving the Matter Open: A Tale By Homer Wilbur, A.M.
© James Russell Lowell
Meanwhile, South's swine increasing fast;
His farm became too small at last;
So, having thought the matter over,
And feeling bound to live in clover
And never pay the clover's worth,
He said one day to Brother North:--
The New Sister
© Paul Hamilton Hayne
Phil. SAY, Pete, do you like her?
Pete. Like! love her you mean!
Phil. Ain't she jolly and red?
Pete. And hurrah for her! just think of her head!
De Notaire Publique
© William Henry Drummond
M'sieu Paul Joulin, de Notaire Publique
Is come I s'pose seexty year hees life
These Two
© Harriet Monroe
It seems too short a time
For these two to grow tall
Of body and soul,
Grow into men, and hear the iron call,
and give their youth's bright hoard.
Fool-Youngens
© James Whitcomb Riley
Me an' Bert an' Minnie-Belle
Knows a joke, an' we won't tell!
No, we don't--'cause we don't know
_Why_ we got to laughin' so;
But we got to laughin' so,
"We ist kep' a-laughin'.
The Joke
© Charles Bukowski
then he leans back, thinks that I
have no sense of humor, have had a
bad day, or that he has overestimated my
intelligence.
Heat-Lightning
© James Whitcomb Riley
"'_If the darkened heavens lower,
Wrap thy cloak around thy form;
Though the tempest rise in power,
God is mightier than the storm!_'"
The Pen And The Album
© William Makepeace Thackeray
"I am Miss Catherine's book," the album speaks;
"I've lain among your tomes these many weeks;
I'm tired of their old coats and yellow cheeks.
What Chris'mas Fetched The Wigginses
© James Whitcomb Riley
Wintertime, er Summertime,
Of late years I notice I'm,
We've Had A Letter From The Boy
© Edgar Albert Guest
We've had a letter from the boy,
And oh, the gladness and the joy
The Ring And The Book - Chapter V - Count Guido Franceschini
© Robert Browning
That is a way, thou whisperest in my ear!
I doubt, I will decide, then act, said I
Then beckoned my companions: Time is come!
Jap Miller
© James Whitcomb Riley
Jap Miller down at Martinsville's the blamedest feller yit!
When _he_ starts in a-talkin' other folks is apt to quit!--
Lac Souci
© William Henry Drummond
Talk about lakes! deres none dat lies in
Laurentide mountain or near de sea,
The House Of Dust: {Complete}
© Conrad Aiken
The sun goes down in a cold pale flare of light.
The trees grow dark: the shadows lean to the east:
And lights wink out through the windows, one by one.
A clamor of frosty sirens mourns at the night.
Pale slate-grey clouds whirl up from the sunken sun.
