A Child's Alone

In the photographs the reporters tookthe others have closed their eyes;only hers are open, stare into blankness.She's inside her head rehearsingthe day her mother came to get her,the day she watched her brotherpunch her mother in the face,screaming, "You bitch."She'd heard her father use that word.Mothers were bitches when they leftand you hit them.If only they'd stop flashing lights in her face.("You're daddy's an important man," grandma said."People want to see us.")But she mustn't speak to them."We have to be there for daddy. He needs us."They were walking through deep snowmaking empty holes with their feet.She couldn't feel her bodyhidden inside the cape she woreso people wouldn't see her.They are going to the big buildingthey call the court. She wondersif her father lives there.He hasn't been home six months,since the day the policemenstopped the car and took him.She sits in the front with grandmaand the man who talks for her father.Her brother is there too.He squeezes her hand when they bring him outand put him in the box.He looks so big. His face is angrytill he sees her and the smile cracks it.She wonders what she did.When he put her on the horse at the ranchand told her to be braveshe knew she mustn't show the fearthat sat in her throat.She tried to keep her mouth closed and swallow.It wouldn't stay inside and she cried.