Quotes by Mark Twain
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
It is easier to stay out than get out.
Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
Loyalty to petrified opinion never broke a chain or freed a human soul.
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat.
Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
