Quotes by Mark Twain
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
