Quotes by Mark Twain
What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
All right, then, I'll go to hell.
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word.
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.
Buy land, they're not making it anymore.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
We have the best government that money can buy.
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
