My Jolly Friend's Secret

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Ah, friend of mine, how goes it,
  Since you've taken you a mate?--
Your smile, though, plainly shows it
  Is a very happy state!
Dan Cupid's necromancy!
  You must sit you down and dine,
And lubricate your fancy
  With a glass or two of wine.

And as you have "deserted,"
  As my other chums have done,
While I laugh alone diverted,
  As you drop off one by one--
And I've remained unwedded,
  Till--you see--look here--that I'm,
In a manner, "snatched bald-headed"
  By the sportive hand of Time!

I'm an "old 'un!" yes, but wrinkles
  Are not so plenty, quite,
As to cover up the twinkles
  Of the BOY--ain't I right?
Yet, there are ghosts of kisses
  Under this mustache of mine
My mem'ry only misses
  When I drown 'em out with wine.

From acknowledgment so ample,
  You would hardly take me for
What I am--a perfect sample
  Of a "jolly bachelor";
Not a bachelor has being
  When he laughs at married life
But his heart and soul's agreeing
  That he ought to have a wife!

Ah, ha I old chum, this claret,
  Like Fatima, holds the key
Of the old Blue-Beardish garret
  Of my hidden mystery!
Did you say you'd like to listen?
  Ah, my boy! the "SAD NO MORE!"
And the tear-drops that will glisten--
  TURN THE CATCH UPON THE DOOR,

And sit you down beside me,
  And put yourself at ease--
I'll trouble you to slide me
  That wine decanter, please;
The path is kind o' mazy
  Where my fancies have to go,
And my heart gets sort o' lazy
  On the journey--don't you know?

Let me see--when I was twenty--
  It's a lordly age, my boy,
When a fellow's money's plenty,
  And the leisure to enjoy--
And a girl--with hair as golden
  As--THAT; and lips--well--quite
As red as THIS I'm holdin'
  Between you and the light.

And eyes and a complexion--
  Ah, heavens!--le'-me-see--
Well,--just in this connection,--
  DID YOU LOCK THAT DOOR FOR ME?
Did I start in recitation
  My past life to recall?
Well, THAT'S an indication
  I am purty tight--that's all!

© James Whitcomb Riley