The Ballade of the Incompetent Ballade-Monger

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I am not ambitious at all:
  I am not a poet, I know
  (Though I do love to see a mere scrawl
  To order and symmetry grow).
  My muse is uncertain and slow,
  I am not expert with my tools,
  I lack the poetic argot:
  But I hope I have kept to the rules.

  When your brain is undoubtedly small,
  'Tis hard, sir, to write in a row,
  Some five or six rhymes to Nepaul,
  And more than a dozen to Joe:
  The metre is easier though,
  Three rhymes are sufficient for 'ghouls,'
  My lines are deficient in go,
  But I hope I have kept to the rules.

  Unable to fly let me crawl,
  Your patronage kindly bestow:
  I am not the author of Saul,
  I am not Voltaire or Rousseau:
  I am not desirous, oh no!
  To rise from the ranks of the fools,
  To shine with Gosse, Dobson and Co.:
  But I hope I have kept to the rules.

  Dear Sir, though my language is low,
  Let me dip in Pierian pools:
  My verses are only so so,
  But I hope I have kept to the rules.

© James Kenneth Stephen