England and America

. ON A RHINE STEAMER.
    Republic of the West, 
    Enlightened, free, sublime,
   Unquestionably best
    Production of our time.
   The telephone is thine,
    And thine the Pullman Car,
   The caucus, the divine
    Intense electric star.
   To thee we likewise owe
   The venerable names
  Of Edgar Allan Poe,
   And Mr. Henry James.
  In short it's due to thee,
   Thou kind of Western star,
  That we have come to be
   Precisely what we are.
  But every now and then,
   It cannot be denied,
  You breed a kind of men
   Who are not dignified,
  Or courteous or refined,
   Benevolent or wise,
  Or gifted with a mind
   Beyond the common size,
  Or notable for tact,
   Agreeable to me,
  Or anything, in fact,
   That people ought to be.
     2. ON A PARISIAN BOULEVARD.
   Britannia rules the waves,
    As I have heard her say;
   She frees whatever slaves
    She meets upon her way.
   A teeming mother she
    Of Parliaments and Laws;
   Majestic, mighty, free:
    Devoid of common flaws.
   For here did Shakspere write
   His admirable plays:
  For her did Nelson fight
   And Wolseley win his bays.
  Her sturdy common sense
   Is based on solid grounds:
  By saving numerous pence
   She spends effective pounds.
  The Saxon and the Celt
   She equitably rules;
  Her iron rod is felt
   By countless knaves and fools.
  In fact, mankind at large,
   Black, yellow, white and red,
  Is given to her in charge,
   And owns her as a head.
  But every here and there-
   Deny it if you can-
  She breeds a vacant stare
   Unworthy of a man:
  A look of dull surprise;
   A nerveless idle hand:
  An eye which never tries
   To threaten or command:
  In short, a kind of man,
   If man indeed he be,
  As worthy of our ban
   As any that we see:
  Unspeakably obtuse,
   Abominably vain,
  Of very little use,
   And execrably plain.