Tis a yarn I heard of a new-chum trap
On the edge of the Never-Never,
Where the dead men lie and the black men lie,
And the bushman lies for ever.
Twas the custom still with the local blacks
To cadge in the altogether
They had less respect for our feelings then,
And more respect for the weather.
The trooper said to the sergeants wife:
Sure, I wouldnt seem unpleasant;
But theres women and childer about the place,
Andbarrin a ladys present
Theres ould King Billy wid niver a stitch
For a monthmay the drought cremate him!
Bar the wan we put in his dirty head,
Where his old Queen Mary bate him.
God give her strength!and a peaceful reign
Though she flies in a bit av a passion
If ony wan hints that her shtoyle an luks
Are a trifle behind the fashion.
Theres two of the boys by the stable now
Be the powers! Ill teach the varmints
To come wid nought but a shirt apiece,
And wid dirt for their nayther garmints.
Howld on, ye blaggards! How dare ye dare
To come widin sight av the houses?
Ill give ye a warnin all for wance
An a couple of ould pair of trousers.
They took the pants as a child a toy,
The constables words beguiling
A smile of something beside their joy;
And they took their departure smiling.
And that very day, when the sun was low,
Two blackfellows came to the station;
They were filled with the courage of Queensland rum
And bursting with indignation.
The constable noticed, with growing ire,
Theyd apparently dressed in a hurry;
And their language that day, I am sorry to say,
Mostly consisted of plurry.
The constable heard, and he wished himself back
In the land of the bogs and the ditches
You plurry big tight-britches pliceman, what for
You gibbit our missuses britches?
And this was a case, I am bound to confess,
Where civilisation went under;
Had one of the gins been less modest in dress
Hed never have made such a blunder.
And here let the moral be duly made known,
And hereafter signed and attested:
We should place more reliance on that which is shown
And less upon what is suggested.
