Affliction (I)

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When first thou didst entice to thee my heart,
  I thought the service brave;
So many joyes I writ down for my part,
  Besides what I might have
Out of my stock of naturall delights,
Augmented with thy gracious benefits.

I looked on thy furniture so fine,
  And made it fine to me;
Thy glorious household-stuffe did me entwine,
  And 'tice me unto thee.
Such starres I counted mine: both heav'n and earth
Payd me my wages in a world of mirth.

What pleasures could I want, whose King I serv'd,
  Where joyes my fellows were?
Thus argu'd into hopes, my thoughts reserv'd
  No place for grief or fear;
Therefore my sudden soul caught at the place,
And made her youth and fiercenesse seek thy face:

At first thou gav'st me milk and sweetnesses;
  I had my wish and way;
My dayes were straw'd with flow'rs and happinesse;
  There was no moneth but May.
But with my yeares sorrow did twist and grow,
And made a partie unawares for wo.

My flesh began unto my soul in pain,
  Sicknesses cleave my bones,
Consuming agues dwell in ev'ry vein,
  And tune my breath to groans:
Sorrow was all my soul; I scarce beleeved,
Till grief did tell me roundly, that I liv'd.

When I got health, thou took'st away my life,
  And more; for my friends die:
My mirth and edge was lost; a blunted knife
  Was of more use then I.
Thus thinne and lean without a fence or friend,
I was blown through with ev'ry storm and winde.

Whereas my birth and spirit rather took
  The way that takes the town;
Thou didst betray me to a lingring book,
  And wrap me in a gown.
I was entangled in the world of strife,
Before I had the power to change my life.

Yet, for I threaten'd oft the siege to raise,
  Not simpring all mine age,
Thou often didst with academick praise
  Melt and dissolve my rage.
I took thy sweetned pill, till I came neare;
I could not go away, nor persevere.

Yet lest perchance I should too happie be
  In my unhappinesse,
Turning my purge to food, thou throwest me
  Into more sicknesses.
Thus doth thy power cross-bias me, not making
Thine own gift good, yet me from my ways taking.

Now I am here, what thou wilt do with me
  None of my books will show:
I reade, and sigh, and wish I were a tree;
  For sure then I should grow
To fruit or shade: at least some bird would trust
Her household to me, and I should be just.

Yet, though thou troublest me, I must be meek;
  In weaknesse must be stout;
Well, I will change the service, and go seek
  Some other master out.
Ah my deare God! though I am clean forgot,
Let me not love thee, if I love thee not.

© George Herbert