The Night

Still a mystery,

I can’t figure out;

Race home from work,

Where life is without.
*****
I race to see you,

And hold you to me;

My mind says you’re there,

And my heart won’t see.
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I open the door,

It’s still a surprise:

You’re not there,

And tears fill my eyes.
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I need someone,

Or call on the phone;

But nothing breaks the silence,

Of these walls made of stone.
*****

I punish myself,

By refusing to eat:

Depression is silent,

I hear my heart beat.
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Where can I go,

Or should I stay:

Shy to choose,

In bed I lay.
*****
Time will pass,

And the dark sets in;

Laying there wishing,

I could still touch your skin.
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Lying there hurting,

I wish I could die;

Missing you so much,

Again I start to cry.
*****

Sometimes I wonder,

If you even know;

The way that I need you,

Would you still go.
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I can’t sleep now,

Again a long night;

Are you this lonely,

Do you share in my fright.
*****

Written 09-27-90