Whenas(I love that "whenas" word
It shows I am a poet, too,)
Q. Horace Flaccus gaily stirred
The welkin with his tra-la-loo,
He little thought one donkeys back
Would carry thus a double load
Father and son upon one jack,
Galumphing down the Tibur Road.
II
Old is the taleAesops, I think
Of that famed miller and his son
Whose fortunes were so "on the blink"
They had one donk, and only one;
You know the talethe critics squawk
(As pater that poor ass bestrode)
"Selfish! To make thy fine son walk!"
Perhaps that was on Tibur Road?
III
You will recall how dad got down
And made the son the ass bestride:
The critics shouted with a frown:
"Shame, boy! pray let thy father ride!"
Up got the dad beside the son;
The donkey staggered with the load
"Poor donk! For shame!" cried every one
That walked the (was it?) Tibur Road.
IV
You know the end! Upon their backs
Daddy and son with much ado
Boosted that most surprised of jacks,
He kicked, and off the bridge he flew;
"He! haw!" A splash! A gurgling sound
A long, last watery abode
In Anios stream the donk was drowned
(If this occurred on Tibur Road.)
V
Let Donkey represent the Odes;
The Miller represent G. M.;
The Son stand for G. F.; the loads
Of CriticsI will do for them.
Now, then, this proposition made,
(And my bum verses "Ahd" and "Ohd!").
What Q. E. D. can be displayed
Anent this "On the Tibur Road"?
VI
First, Horrys dead and he dont care,
So cancel him, and let him snore;
His Donkey has been raised in air
So oft hes tough and calloused oer;
Our Millerdusty-headed man
Follows the best donk-boosting code:
Our Sondispute it no one can
Sings gaily down the Tibur Road.
VII
This, then, must be this Critics scream:
The donk was boosted well and high,
And, ergo! falling in the stream,
Isnt and aint and cant be dry;
Nor is your book. Which is to say
It is no gloomy episode
Youve made a dead donk sweetly bray,
And joyful is the Tibur Road.