What Father Knows

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My father knows the proper way
  The nation should be run;
He tells us children every day
  Just what should now be done.
He knows the way to fix the trusts,
  He has a simple plan;
But if the furnace needs repairs
  We have to hire a man.

My father, in a day or two,
  Could land big thieves in jail;
There's nothing that he cannot do,
  He knows no word like "fail."
"Our confidence" he would restore,
  Of that there is no doubt;
But if there is a chair to mend
  We have to send it out.

All public questions that arise
  He settles on the spot;
He waits not till the tumult dies,
  But grabs it while it's hot.
In matters of finance he can
  Tell Congress what to do;
But, O, he finds it hard to meet
  His bills as they fall due.

It almost makes him sick to read
  The things law-makers say;
Why, father's just the man they need;
  He never goes astray.
All wars he'd very quickly end,
  As fast as I can write it;
But when a neighbor starts a fuss
  'Tis mother has to fight it.

In conversation father can
  Do many wondrous things;
He's built upon a wiser plan
  Than presidents or kings.
He knows the ins and outs of each
  And every deep transaction;
We look to him for theories,
  But look to ma for action.

© Edgar Albert Guest