Tamerton Church-Tower, Or, First Love

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I.
  We left the Church at Tamerton
  In gloomy western air;
  To greet the day we gallop'd on,
  A merry-minded pair.
  The hazy East hot noon did bode;
  Our horses sniff'd the dawn;
  We made ten Cornish miles of road
  Before the dew was gone.
  We clomb the hill where Lanson's Keep
  Fronts Dartmoor's distant ridge;
  Thence trotted South; walk'd down the steep
  That slants to Gresson Bridge;
  And paused awhile, where Tamar waits,
  In many a shining coil,
  And teeming Devon separates
  From Cornwall's sorry soil.


II.
  Our English skies contain'd, that Spring,
  A Caribbean sun;
  The singing birds forgot to sing,
  The rivulets to run. 
  For three noons past, the skies had frown'd,
  Obscured with blighting shades
  That only mock'd the thirsty ground
  And unrejoicing glades.
  To-day, before the noon was nigh,
  Bright-skirted vapours grew,
  And on the sky hung languidly;
  The sky was languid too.
  Our horses dropp'd their necks, and nosed
  The dusty wayside grass,
  Whilst we beneath still boughs reposed
  And watch'd the water pass.
  We spoke of plighted Bertha: Frank
  Shot pebbles in the stream;
  And I lay by him on the bank,
  But dreamt no lover's dream.
  She was a blythe and bashful maid,
  Much blushing in her glee;
  Yet gracing all she did and said
  With sweet sufficiency.
  ‘Is Blanche as fair?’ ask'd I, who yearn'd
  To feel my life complete;
  To taste unselfish pleasures earn'd
  By service strict and sweet.
  ‘Well, some say fairer: she'll surprise
  Your heart with crimson lips;
  Fat underlids, that hold bright eyes
  In laughing half-eclipse;
  Alluring locks, done up with taste
  Behind her dainty ears;
  And manners full of wayward haste,
  Tho' facile as the deer's.’


III.
  ‘You paint a leaflet, here and there;
  And not the blossom: tell 
  What mysteries of good and fair
  These blazon'd letters spell.’


IV.
  ‘Her mouth and teeth, by Cupid's bow!
  Are letters spelling "kiss;"
  And, witchingly withdrawn below
  Twin worlds of baby-bliss,
  Her waist, so soft and small, may mean,
  "O, when will some one come
  To make me catch my breath between
  His finger and his thumb!"’


V.
  My life, 'twas like a land of dreams,
  Where nothing noble throve:
  Dull seem'd it as to maiden seems
  The verse that's not of love.
  ‘See where,’ sigh'd I, ‘the water dim
  Repeats, with leaden hue,
  The fervid sun, the cloud's hot rim,
  The gap of dazzling blue!’
  Quoth Frank, ‘I do, and hence foresee
  And all too plainly scan
  Some sentimental homily
  On Duty, Death, or Man.’
  ‘'Tis this;’ said I, ‘our senses mar,
  Ev'n so, sweet Nature's face,
  Unless by love revived they are,
  Or lit by heavenly grace.
  Below the hazel talks the rill;
  My heart speaks not again;
  The solemn cloud, the stately hill,
  I look on each in vain.
  Sure he for whom no Power shall strike
  This darkness into day—’

  ‘Is damn'd,’ said Frank, who morall'd like
  The Fool in an old Play.
  ‘That's true!’ cried I, ‘yet, as the worm
  That sickens ere it change—’
  ‘Or as the pup that nears the term
  At which pups have the mange—
  Pooh! Come, Man, let us on,’ he said,
  ‘For now the storm is nigh!’
  And whilst we rode quaint sense we read
  Within the changing sky.
  Above us bent a prophet wild,
  Pointing to hidden harm;
  Beyond, a magic woman smiled,
  And wove some wondrous charm;
  Past that, a censer jetted smoke:
  Black convolutions roll'd
  Sunwards, and caught the light, and broke
  In crowns of shining gold.


VI.
  The gaps of blue shrank fast in span;
  The long-forgotten breeze,
  By lazy starts and fits, began
  To stir the higher trees.
  At noon, we came to Tavistock;
  And sunshine still was there,
  But gloomy Dartmoor seem'd to mock
  Its weak and yellow glare.
  The swallows, in the wrathful light,
  Were pitching up and down;
  A string of rooks made rapid flight,
  Due southward, o'er the town,
  Where, baiting at the Tiger-Inn,
  We talk'd by windows wide,
  Of Blanche and all my unseen kin,
  Who did our coming bide.


VII.

  The heavy sign-board swung and shriek'd,
  In dark air whirl'd the vane,
  Blinds flapp'd, dust rose, and, straining, creak'd
  The shaken window-pane;
  And, just o'erhead, a huge cloud flung,
  For earnest of its stores,
  A few calm drops, that struck among
  The light-leaved sycamores.
  Hot to be gone, Frank rose and eyed
  Dark cloud and swinging branch;
  But less long'd he to greet his Bride
  Than I to look on Blanche.
  Her name, pair'd still with praise at home,
  Would make my pulses start;
  The hills between us were become
  A weight upon my heart.
  ‘Behold,’ I cried, ‘the storm comes not;
  The northern heavens grow fair.’
  ‘Look South,’ said Frank, ‘'tis one wide blot
  Of thunder-threatening air.’
  The string of rooks had travell'd on,
  Against the southern shroud,
  And, like some snaky skeleton,
  Lay twisted in the cloud.
  ‘No storm to-day!’ said I, ‘for, see,
  Yon black thing travels south.’
  We follow'd soon; our spirits free,
  Our bodies slaked from drouth.
  I rode in silence; Frank, with tongue
  Made lax by too much port,
  Soliloquising, said or sung
  After this tipsy sort:

  ‘Yea, nerves they are the Devil's mesh,
  And pups begin quite blind, 
  And health is ofttimes in the flesh,
  And measles in the mind!
  ‘Foolish and fair was Joan without;
  Foolish and foul within;
  High as a hunted pig his snout,
  She carried a foolish chin.
  ‘The Boy beheld, and brisk rose he
  At this badly painted fly:
  That boys less wise than fish will be
  Makes many a man to sigh.’


VIII.
  On, on we toil'd, amidst the blaze
  From Dartmoor's ridges bare;
  Beneath the hush'd and scorching haze,
  And through the twinkling air;
  Along the endless mountain-side,
  That seem'd with us to move;
  Past dreary mine-mouths, far and wide;
  Huge dross-heap, wheel, and groove;
  Dark towns by disembowell'd hills,
  Where swarthy tribes abode,
  Who, in hard rocks with harder wills,
  Pursued the crooked lode;
  Up heights, that seem'd against us match'd;
  Until, from table-land,
  Before the teasing midge was hatch'd,
  We hail'd the southern strand.
  Then pleasantly, on level ground
  And through the lighter air,
  We paced along and breathed around,
  A merry-minded pair.
  A western night of even cloud
  Suck'd in the sultry disk; 
  Bright racks look'd on, a fiery crowd,
  To seamen boding risk;
  The late crow wing'd his silent way
  Across the shadowy East;
  The gnat danced out his little day,
  His ceaseless singing ceased;
  Along the dim horizon round
  Fled faint electric fires;
  Blue glow-worms lit the fresher ground
  By moisture-harbouring briers;
  Far northward twinkled lonely lights,
  The peopled vales among;
  In front, between the gaping heights,
  The mystic ocean hung.


IX.
  Our weary spirits flagg'd beneath
  The still and loaded air;
  We left behind the freër heath,
  A moody-minded pair.
  With senses slack and sick of mirth,
  Tho' near the happy goal,
  I murmur'd, fearing nought on earth
  Could quite content the soul:
  ‘Suppose your love prove such a light
  As yonder glow-worm's lamp,
  That gleams, at distance, strong and bright,
  Approach'd, burns weak and damp.
  Perchance, by much of bliss aroused,
  Your heart will pant for more;
  And then the worm of want lies housed
  Within the sweet fruit's core!
  Far worse, if, led by fancy blind,
  But undeceiv'd by use—’
  ‘I dream,’ yawn'd Frank, ‘and wake to find
  My Goddess a green goose!’

  ‘Vain, vain,’ said I, ‘is worldly weal:
  We faint, within the heart,
  For good which all we see and feel
  Foreshadows but in part.’
  Frank answer'd, ‘What you faint for, win!
  Faint not, but forward press.
  Heav'n proffers all: 'twere grievous sin
  To live content in less.
  The Sun rolls by us every day;
  And it and all things speak
  To the sinking heart of man, and say,
  'Tis wicked to be weak.
  We would not hear the hated sound;
  But, by the Lord, we must:
  If not, the heavy world goes round,
  And grinds us into dust.’
  With each a moral in his mouth,
  We rein'd our sweating nags,
  Where quiet Ocean, on the South,
  Kiss'd Edgecumb's ruddy crags.


II
I.
  So subtly love within me wrought,
  So excellent she seem'd,
  Daily of Blanche was all my thought,
  Nightly of Blanche I dream'd;
  And this was all my wish, and all
  The work now left for life,
  To make this Wonder mine, to call
  This laughing Blanche my Wife.


II.
  I courted her till hope grew bold;
  Then sought her in her place, 
  And all my passion freely told,
  Before her blushing face.
  I kiss'd her twice, I kiss'd her thrice,
  Thro' tresses and thro' tears;
  I kiss'd her lips, I kiss'd her eyes,
  And calm'd her joys and fears.
  So woo'd I Blanche, and so I sped,
  And so, with small delay,
  I and the patient Frank were wed
  Upon the self-same day.
  And friends all round kiss'd either Bride,
  I Frank's, Frank mine; and he
  Laugh'd as for once we thus defied
  Love's sweet monopoly.
  And then we drove by garth and grove;
  And soon forgot the place
  Where all the world had look'd shy Love
  So rudely in the face.


III
I.
  The noon was hot and close and still,
  When, steadying Blanche's hand,
  I led her down the southern hill,
  And row'd with her from land.
  Ere summer's prime that year the wasp
  Lay gorged within the peach;
  The tide, as though the sea did gasp,
  Fell lax upon the beach.
  Quietly dipp'd the dripping scull,
  And all beside was calm;
  But o'er the strange and weary lull
  No angel waved his palm.
  The sun was rayless, pale the sky,
  The distance thick with light: 
  We glided past the fort and by
  The war-ship's sleeping might.
  Her paddle stirr'd: without a breeze,
  A mimic tempest boil'd:
  The sailors on the silent seas
  With storm-tuned voices toil'd.
  I could not toil; I seldom pray'd:
  What was to do or ask?
  Love's purple glory round me play'd,
  Unfed by prayer or task.
  All perfect my contentment was,
  For Blanche was all my care;
  And heaven seem'd only heaven because
  My goddess would be there.
  No wafted breeze the ships did strike,
  No wish unwon moved me;
  The peace within my soul was like
  The peace upon the sea.
  At times, when action sleeps, unstirr'd
  By any motive gale,
  A mystic wind, with warning heard,
  Ruffles life's idle sail.
  The fancy, then, a fear divines,
  And, borne on gloomy wings,
  Sees threats and formidable signs
  In simply natural things.
  It smote my heart, how, yesternight,
  The moon rose in eclipse,
  And how her maim'd and shapeless light
  O'erhung the senseless ships.
  The passion pass'd, as, lightning-lit,
  Red cloud-scenes shew and close;
  And soon came wonder at the fit,
  And smiles and full repose.
  Again I turn'd me, all devote,
  To my sweet Idol's shrine; 
  Again I gazed where, on the boat,
  Her shadow mix'd with mine.


II.
  Cried Frank, who, with his Wife, was there,
  ‘We dream! sing each a song.’
  And he sang first an old, brave air,
  And pull'd the boat along:
  ‘Sir Pelles woo'd, in scorn's despite;
  He cherish'd love's sweet smart;
  Ettarde proved light; then, like a Knight,
  He turn'd her from his heart.
  ‘O, the remorse with which we pay
  For duties done too well!
  But conscience gay does grief allay;
  As all true knights can tell.’


III.
  ‘Alas, poor Knight!’ cried Blanche, ‘Nay, hear,’
  Said Frank, ‘the saddest half!’
  And drearily he troll'd, while clear
  Rose Blanche's puzzled laugh.
  ‘Sir Lob was drunk; the stars were bright.
  Within an empty ditch,
  Sir Lob all night lay right and tight
  As a Saint within his niche.
  ‘Now, well, quoth he, goes life with me;
  I've liquor and to spare;
  I hate the herd that vulgar be;
  And, O, the stars are fair! 
  ‘The mill-dam burst: Sir Lob lay sunk
  In that celestial swound:
  The mill-stream found the knight dead drunk,
  And the Jury found him drown'd.’


IV.
  ‘The tunes are good; the words,’ said I,
  ‘Are hard to understand.’
  And soon I prefaced with a sigh
  This pagan love-song grand:
  ‘When Love's bright Ichor fills the veins,
  Love's Amaranth lights the brow,
  The Past grows dark, the Future wanes,
  Before the golden Now.
  ‘Marc Antony the war-flags furl'd,
  For Egypt's Queen said, "Stay:
  He reck'd not of the worthless world,
  Well lost by that delay.
  ‘Quoth Antony, Here set I up
  My everlasting rest:
  Leave me to drain Joy's magic cup,
  To dream on Egypt's breast.’


V.
  Frank smiled, and said my note was wrong;
  'Twas neither Man's nor Boy's;
  And Blanche sang next, some modern song,
  Of ‘Flowers’ and ‘Fairy Joys.’
  As bright disparted skies that break
  To let a cherub through,
  So seem'd her mouth: my sight did ache,
  Glitt'ring with fiery dew; 
  And, in the laugh of her brown eye,
  My heart, contented so,
  Lay like the honey-thirsty fly
  Drows'd in the cactus' glow.
  Nor heeded I what sang my Saint,
  Such magic had the sound.
  The myrtle in her breath made faint
  The air that hearken'd round.


VI.
  ‘Now, Wife,’ said Frank, ‘to shame our lays,
  Try you in turn your power;
  And sing your little song in praise
  Of Love's selectest flower.’
  Her hand felt his: thus sang she then,
  Submitted to his rule,
  Tho' shyer than the water-hen
  On Tamar's shadiest pool.
  ‘The Myrtle sates with scent the air
  That flows by Grecian hills;
  Its fervid leaflets glisten fair
  By warm Italian rills.
  The North too has its Lover's-Flower,
  The glad Forget-me-not;
  Too bold thro' sunshine, wind, and shower,
  Too blue to be forgot.’


VII.
  Pointing far East, Frank said, ‘Do you see
  Yon porpoise-droves at play?’
  We gazed, and saw, with failing glee,
  Bright lines of spotted spray.
  Once more the boded terror shook
  My heart, and made me dumb. 
  ‘To land! to land!’ cried Frank, ‘for, look,
  The storm, at last, is come!’
  Above us, heated fields of mist
  Precipitated cloud;
  For shore we pull'd; the swift keel hiss'd;
  Above us grew the shroud.
  The pale gull flapp'd the stagnant air;
  The thunder-drop fell straight;
  The first wind lifted Blanche's hair;
  Looking to me she sate.
  Across the boundless mirror crept,
  In dark'ning blasts, the squall;
  And round our terror lightly leapt
  Mad wavelets, many and small.
  The oars cast by, convuls'd outflew
  Our perilous hope the sail.
  None spoke; all watch'd the waves, that grew
  Under the splashing hail.
  With urgent hearts and useless hands,
  We sate and saw them rise,
  Coursing to shore in gloomy bands,
  Below the appalling skies.
  The wrathful thunder scared the deeps,
  And where, upon our wake,
  The sea got up in ghastly heaps,
  White lines of lightning strake.
  On, on, with fainting hope we fled,
  Hard-hunted by the grave;
  Slow seem'd it, though like wind we sped
  Over the shouldering wave;
  In front swift rose the crags, where still
  A storm of sunshine pour'd;
  At last, beneath the southern hill,
  The pitiless breakers roar'd.
  O, bolt foreseen before it burst!
  O, chastening hard to bear! 
  O, cup of sweetness quite revers'd,
  And turn'd to void despair!
  Blanche in fear swooning, I let go
  The helm; we struck the ground;
  The sea fell in from stern to prow,
  And Blanche, my Bride, was drown'd.
  What guilt was hers? But God is great,
  And all that may be known
  To each of any other's fate
  Is, that it helps his own.


IV
I.
  In a swift vortex go the years,
  Each swifter than the last,
  And seasons four their set careers
  Pursued, and somehow pass'd.
  The spirit of Spring, this year, was quench'd
  With clouds and wind and rain;
  All night the gust-blown torrent drench'd
  The gloomy window-pane;
  Against the pane the flapping blind
  Flapp'd ever, dismally;
  And ever, above the rain and wind,
  Sounded the dismal sea.
  The billows, like some guilty crew
  Devour'd by vain remorse,
  Dash'd up the beach, sighing withdrew,
  And mix'd, with murmurs hoarse.
  The morning was a cheerless sight,
  Amongst the turbid skies;
  But sweet was the relief of light
  Within my restless eyes;
  For then I rose to prayer and toil,
  Forgat the ocean's moan, 
  Or faced the dizzy crash and coil
  That drown'd its mournfuller tone.
  But never, when the tide drew back,
  Trod I the weltering strand;
  For horribly my single track
  Pursued me in the sand.


II.
  One morn I watch'd the rain subside;
  And then fared singly forth,
  Below the clouds, till eve to ride
  From Edgecumb to the North.
  Once, only once, I paused upon
  The sea-transcending height,
  And turn'd to gaze: far breakers shone,
  Slow gleams of silent light.
  Into my horse I struck the spur;
  Sad was the soul in me;
  Sore were my lids with tears for her
  Who slept beneath the sea.
  But soon I sooth'd my startled horse,
  And check'd that sudden grief,
  And look'd abroad on crag and gorse
  And Dartmoor's cloudy reef.
  Far forth the air was dark and clear,
  The crags acute and large,
  The clouds uneven, black, and near,
  And ragged at the marge.
  The spider, in his rainy mesh,
  Shook not, but, as I rode,
  The opposing air, sweet, sharp, and fresh,
  Against my hot lids flow'd.
  Peat-cutters pass'd me, carrying tools;
  Hawks glimmer'd on the wing;
  The ground was glad with grassy pools,
  And brooklets galloping; 
  And sparrows chirp'd, with feathers spread,
  And dipp'd and drank their fill,
  Where, down its sandy channel, fled
  The lessening road-side rill.


III.
  I cross'd the furze-grown table-land,
  And near'd the northern vales,
  That lay perspicuously plann'd
  In lesser hills and dales.
  Then rearward, in a slow review,
  Fell Dartmoor's jagged lines;
  Around were dross-heaps, red and blue,
  Old shafts of gutted mines,
  Impetuous currents copper-stain'd,
  Wheels stream-urged with a roar,
  Sluice-guiding grooves, strong works that strain'd
  With freight of upheaved ore.
  And then, the train, with shock on shock,
  Swift rush and birth-scream dire,
  Grew from the bosom of the rock,
  And pass'd in noise and fire.
  With brazen throb, with vital stroke,
  It went, far heard, far seen,
  Setting a track of shining smoke
  Against the pastoral green.
  Then, bright drops, lodged in budding trees,
  Were loos'd in sudden showers,
  Touch'd by the novel western breeze,
  Friend of the backward flowers.
  Then rose the Church at Tavistock,
  The rain still falling there;
  But sunny Dartmoor seem'd to mock
  The gloom with cheerful glare.
  About the West the gilt vane reel'd
  And pois'd; and, with sweet art, 
  The sudden, jangling changes peal'd
  Until, around my heart,
  Conceits of brighter times, of times
  The brighter for past storms,
  Clung thick as bees, when brazen chimes
  Call down the hiveless swarms.


IV.
  I rested at the Tiger Inn,
  There half-way on my ride,
  And mused with joy of friends and kin
  Who did my coming bide.
  The Vicar, in his sombre wear
  That shone about the knees,
  Before me stood, his aspect fair
  With godly memories.
  I heard again his kind ‘Good-bye:
  Christ speed and keep thee still
  From frantic passions, for they die
  And leave a frantic will.’
  My fond, old Tutor, learn'd and meek!
  A soul, in strangest truth,
  As wide as Asia and as weak;
  Not like his daughter Ruth.
  A Girl of fullest heart she was;
  Her spirit's lovely flame
  Nor dazzled nor surprised, because
  It always burn'd the same;
  And in the maiden path she trod
  Fair was the wife foreshown,
  A Mary in the house of God,
  A Martha in her own.
  Charms for the sight she had; but these
  Were tranquil, grave, and chaste,
  And all too beautiful to please
  A rash, untutor'd taste.


V.
  In love with home, I rose and eyed
  The rainy North; but there
  The distant hill-top, in its pride,
  Adorn'd the brilliant air:
  And, as I pass'd from Tavistock,
  The scatter'd dwellings white,
  The Church, the golden weather-cock,
  Were whelm'd in happy light;
  The children 'gan the sun to greet,
  With song and senseless shout;
  The lambs to skip, their dams to bleat;
  In Tavy leapt the trout;
  Across a fleeting eastern cloud,
  The splendid rainbow sprang,
  And larks, invisible and loud,
  Within its zenith sang.


VI.
  So lay the Earth that saw the skies
  Grow clear and bright above,
  As the repentant spirit lies
  In God's forgiving love.
  The lark forsook the waning day,
  And all loud songs did cease;
  The Robin, from a wither'd spray,
  Sang like a soul at peace.
  Far to the South, in sunset glow'd
  The peaks of Dartmoor ridge,
  And Tamar, full and tranquil, flow'd
  Beneath the Gresson Bridge.
  There, conscious of the numerous noise
  Of rain-awaken'd rills,
  And gathering deep and sober joys
  From the heart-enlarging hills, 
  I sat, until the first white star
  Appear'd, with dewy rays,
  And the fair moon began to bar
  With shadows all the ways.
  O, well is thee, whate'er thou art,
  And happy shalt thou be,
  If thou hast known, within thy heart,
  The peace that came to me.
  O, well is thee, if aught shall win
  Thy spirit to confess,
  God proffers all, 'twere grievous sin
  To live content in less!


VII.
  I mounted, now, my patient nag;
  And scaled the easy steep;
  And soon beheld the quiet flag
  On Lanson's solemn Keep.
  And now, whenas the waking lights
  Bespake the valley'd Town,
  A child o'ertook me, on the heights,
  In cap and russet gown.
  It was an alms-taught scholar trim,
  Who, on her happy way,
  Sang to herself the morrow's hymn;
  For this was Saturday.

  ‘Saint Stephen, stoned, nor grieved nor groan'd:
  'Twas all for his good gain;
  For Christ him blest, till he confess'd
  A sweet content in pain.
  ‘Then Christ His cross is no way loss,
  But even a present boon:
  Of His dear blood fair shines a flood
  On heaven's eternal noon.’


VIII.
  My sight, once more, was dim for her
  Who slept beneath the sea,
  As on I sped, without the spur,
  By homestead, heath, and lea.
  Beside my path the moon kept pace,
  In meek and brilliant power,
  And lit, ere long, the eastern face
  Of Tamerton Church-tower.

© Coventry Kersey Dighton Patmore