"Hic Vir, Hic Est"

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Often, when o'er tree and turret,
  Eve a dying radiance flings,
By that ancient pile I linger
  Known familiarly as "King's."
And the ghosts of days departed
  Rise, and in my burning breast
All the undergraduate wakens,
  And my spirit is at rest.

What, but a revolting fiction,
  Seems the actual result
Of the Census's enquiries
  Made upon the 15th ult.?
Still my soul is in its boyhood;
  Nor of year or changes recks.
Though my scalp is almost hairless,
  And my figure grows convex.

Backward moves the kindly dial;
  And I'm numbered once again
With those noblest of their species
  Called emphatically 'Men':
Loaf, as I have loafed aforetime,
  Through the streets, with tranquil mind,
And a long-backed fancy-mongrel
  Trailing casually behind:

Past the Senate-house I saunter,
  Whistling with an easy grace;
Past the cabbage-stalks that carpet
  Still the beefy market-place;
Poising evermore the eye-glass
  In the light sarcastic eye,
Lest, by chance, some breezy nursemaid
  Pass, without a tribute, by.

Once, an unassuming Freshman,
  Through these wilds I wandered on,
Seeing in each house a College,
  Under every cap a Don:
Each perambulating infant
  Had a magic in its squall,
For my eager eye detected
  Senior Wranglers in them all.

By degrees my education
  Grew, and I became as others;
Learned to court delirium tremens
  By the aid of Bacon Brothers;
Bought me tiny boots of Mortlock,
  And colossal prints of Roe;
And ignored the proposition
  That both time and money go.

Learned to work the wary dogcart
  Artfully through King's Parade;
Dress, and steer a boat, and sport with
  Amaryllis in the shade:
Struck, at Brown's, the dashing hazard;
  Or (more curious sport than that)
Dropped, at Callaby's, the terrier
  Down upon the prisoned rat.

I have stood serene on Fenner's
  Ground, indifferent to blisters,
While the Buttress of the period
  Bowled me his peculiar twisters:
Sung 'We won't go home till morning';
  Striven to part my backhair straight;
Drunk (not lavishly) of Miller's
  Old dry wines at 78:-

When within my veins the blood ran,
  And the curls were on my brow,
I did, oh ye undergraduates,
  Much as ye are doing now.
Wherefore bless ye, O beloved ones:-
  Now unto mine inn must I,
Your 'poor moralist,' {51a} betake me,
  In my 'solitary fly.'

© Charles Stuart Calverley