Quotes by Calvin Trillin
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When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.
Being on a book tour is a lot easier than reporting.
I don't think I've ever read a food piece or a food book.
As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.
I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.
I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.
I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.
When you're writing, you are robbed of your delivery.
If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.
People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them.
Getting a tattoo would probably make me cry.
The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?
What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.
The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.
I don't mind being interviewed on television or radio.
I'm more disturbed when people expect me to be serious.
I've always thought that parallel parking was my main talent.
With humor, it's so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.
We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.
There's always a source for humor.
Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food.
I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.
I've written three books you could think of as memoirs.
The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.
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