Quotes by Bill Cosby
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I was put in remedial everything.
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I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
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Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.
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Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
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A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
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There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
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The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
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Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
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I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.
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You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
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I want all this loud profanity in the street stopped. I want people to think about choices.
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Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.
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We've got to get the gun out of the hands of people who are supposed to be on neighborhood watch.
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You can't compete with Walmart. But you can have smaller businesses that are successful.
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Family is conflict and it's something that we all relate to.
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Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
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Social networking helps reach people easier and quicker.
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I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.
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When I was a boy if a girl got pregnant the shame was placed on her and the boy could get away.
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
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Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
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Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
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Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
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Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
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No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
