(i)
There were three little owls in a wood,Who sang hymns whenever they could. What the words were about, One could never make out,But one felt it was doing them good.
(ii)
When Daddy and Mum got quite plastered,And their shame had been thoroughly mastered, They told their bot, Harry: 'Son, we never did marry.But don't tell the neighbours, you bastard.'
(iii)
There was aince an auld body o' SydneyWha suffered frae pains in the kidney. He prayed tae the Lord That he micht be restored,And He promised He would--but He didnae!
(iv)
A young schizophrenic named Struther,When told of the death of his brother, Said: "Yes, it's too bad, But I can't feel too sad--After all, I still have each other.'
(v)
There was an Archdeacon who said:'May I take off my gaiters in bed?' But the Bishop said: 'No, Wherever you goYou must wear them until you are dead.'
