Quotes by Ambrose Bierce
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Ardor, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.
Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happinesss is assured.
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.
Egotist: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur."
