Quotes by Ambrose Bierce
Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.
Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
A man is known by the company he organizes.
Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
Genius - to know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from unknown premises; to discern the soul of things.
Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.
Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
Historian - a broad-gauge gossip.
Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.